Being a long time Triumph enthusiast, I was delighted when the mighty Rocket 3 was launched on an unsuspecting world in 2004. I admired their bravery and could only imagine the effect that it would have on a certain rather old fashioned and somewhat pretentious manufacturer farther west. Despite the fact that cruisers weren’t really my ‘thing’, curiosity found me in Carl Rosner’s asking for a test ride.

One hour later, all my cruiser prejudice had been blown away by 2.3 litres of power.

In 2009, I eventually became the proud owner of a 2005 model Rocket. The ‘bike had been fitted with a screen, spotlights and a sissy bar/rack by the previous owner. Now, what they don’t tell you about cruiser ownership, is the overwhelming desire to add as many baubles, sorry, ‘performance enhancements’ as your pay packet/wife will allow. So… in the space of as many weeks, I had added: Leather touring bags, passenger and rider foot boards, custom handlebars and acres of chrome, as well as vaguely useful stuff like Autocom and satnav. Mr Rosner was looking happier by the day.

So what’s it like? As you might expect, the engine dominates the riding experience. I know that top of the range hyper-sportsters put out more power and weigh considerably less, but we’re talking Torque here. Opening the throttle even a touch results in the machine leaping forward. I know that on Harleys there is a warning etched into the rear view mirrors; on the Rocket it should read ”Images in the mirror will be much further away than you think, and getting smaller all the time.” The gearbox is virtually redundant, if the throttle is opened whilst in a high gear, the only discernable difference is a slight shuddering before you are hurled towards the horizon. It’s enormous fun and completely addictive. The bike is allegedly limited to 140mph. I can’t say I’ve ever tried, or that it has been a problem. Whilst on holiday last year it would sit at an indicated130, at which speed it was completely stable despite both panniers and the rear rack being fully loaded. 100mph arrives so quickly and easily that you have to concentrate hard to avoid it happening all the time. Because of the massive weight and wheelbase this sort of behaviour is easy and feels completely safe.

When I originally tested the bike, the combination of cruiser riding position and lack of wind protection made it very difficult to hang on. Fortunately, the Triumph screen is brilliant; although it looks small (and cool!) it is very well designed and protects me from the windblast at any speed. Coupled with a very comfortable seat and the armchair riding position, it enables large distances to be undertaken in complete comfort. The holiday last year involved a number of 300+ mile days, and I certainly seemed more relaxed and comfortable at the end of the day than my whingeing, hobbling, sportsbike riding friends.

 Fuel consumption is never going to make me popular with the Green Party, but on a long run it returns the low 40s to the gallon, which gives a range of around 140 miles, by which time I usually need a coffee anyway. Using the motor more enthusiastically can make the consumption plummet to levels I don’t want to think about but it doesn’t half make you smile!

If you’ve read this far, you’ve probably noticed that I haven’t mentioned handling. OK, fair point, I’ll get my excuses in first and say that you don’t buy a bike like this to try and embarrass a certain Mr Rossi; unless he’s the one with the ice cream van and come to think of it, even then…

Actually, the handling is surprisingly good. It is true to say that you never forget that you’re on a very big, very heavy motorbike. You always have the thought at the back of your mind that no set of steel tubes on earth is going to be able to control the beast if it gets out of control. Despite this, I think that Triumph have done a really good job. The weight is carried low down and once you’re rolling the whole bike feels well balanced and very manageable. As the seat is low, you can get both feet comfortably on the floor and town travel is easy, filtering can be a challenge but if you see your gap, open the throttle and you’re there. Now I’m used to it, feet up, full lock U-turns are comparatively easy. At all other times the steering is really good. You need to set the bike up before a bend and accelerate through; last minute changes of direction are not recommended. It holds its line really well, doesn’t weave and is stable and reassuring. The ground clearance in truth isn’t great, although those in the know say its got greater clearance than most. The footboards are spring-loaded and have replaceable ‘hero blobs’ underneath, I tend to buy them by the dozen. I have to say that once you are aware of the clearance, you tend to ride accordingly and it doesn’t become a problem, roundabouts and one very scary mountain road excepted. You can certainly maintain a good speed around corners, particularly open sweeping ones. There’s a great deal of satisfaction to be had from getting it right, particularly if you manage to keep up with the wannabe racer in front. It happens more often than you might imagine and drives them mad!

The brakes are really efficient, the twin front discs can lock the wheel, but as it’s a cruiser with an artic like wheelbase, it wont tuck in and fall; don’t ask me how I know this. The rear brake, unlike most ‘bikes is very powerful and useable, in truth, as with most cruisers, it’s probably the more efficient brake.

My favourite pillion loves the ‘bike, it’s all day comfortable and obviously can swallow several wardrobes worth of ‘essentials’, sometimes there’s even room left for a pair of shorts for me. If being the centre of attention and making new friends is not for you, then be warned; stick to your Pan European. The ‘bike becomes the centre of attention wherever it’s parked. Even when travelling slowly people wave and shout, I even had a bloke running alongside me in slow moving traffic asking me what it was like. This is all good, I like to do my bit and improve our image, but even a poseur/narcissist like me can occasionally groan inwardly at the sight of yet another audience around the ‘bike. More than once I’ve spotted the inevitable crowd where I parked and have snuck off for a coffee until the fuss has died down.

The build quality is fantastic and aside from one dead battery, it’s been utterly reliable.

To sum up, the Rocket is unique. It makes me smile every time I ride it. It makes a brilliant tourer and is ideal for just getting on and riding, the stresses and strains of life just don’t matter once you’re on it. It’s not for every one and I’d have to think hard before I let it be my only machine, but if you have a chance of a test ride, take it. I guarantee you’ll come back with a mile wide grin.

Oh, I forgot to mention the chrome clock, and the chrome fuel gauge and… 

Ian Hadcocks